Day 16- Something you crave for a lot

This one is tomorrow's topic but I know that I'm going to be driving so I figured I'd go ahead and get this one done so that I can try to stay as close to caught up as possible.

Touch touch and more touch. For someone to run their entire hand down the length of my body, starting at my shoulder and running down until they cup their hand under my ass and pull me close to them, kissing me like there is no tomorrow. I crave to be touched until my body is humming with the energy exchanged and my brain has gone all woozy with desire. I crave to be touched and caressed and kissed until my hips are moving of their own accord and the sounds of my whimpered moans fill the room.

I don't crave much.

Day 15- What makes you different from everyone else

My life experiences and views on life? Sure. But that is what makes every person unique. So what DOES make me different? Well... not much really. I'm an accounting nerd but there are others that can claim the same thing. I like video games. Others do too. I cross stitch. I'm not the only one. I can name dozens of things and yet none of these things makes me "different."


I have been told that I am one of the most expressive people in bed. While this is something that makes me different, it's not like I can just take that into a job interview (outside of the porn industry, perhaps). I've also been told I'm REALLY good at doing energy work/play. I tell people that I'm one of the most unique people they will ever meet but I can't qualify exactly what makes me such. Perhaps it is a combination of my experiences and the things I enjoy doing. Perhaps it is my outlook on life. I don't know.


When I was young, I was ostracized by my peers for being different. They picked on everything they possibly could about me until I finally just ignored them all. I couldn't tell you then what made me different from them and I still can't say to this day what it was that made them pick me out of everyone else to pick on. What I do know is that whatever has caused me to be "different" has made me value the friends and loved ones I have around me more than I would have otherwise, and for that, I am grateful.

Day 14- A picture of something that makes you happy

This makes me happy.

We went to the zoo on Wednesday. While we were there, the mama giraffe walked over to the younger giraffe and started "snuggling" with her. And I was able to get a picture.

Day 13- Somewhere you’d like to move or visit

I would like to visit Scotland and Ireland. I have always found pictures of them to be gorgeous and my accent fetish doesn't have anything to do with it either. I do long to visit and I'm always finding myself seeking more knowledge about them. Now if only I could find someone to teach me Gaelic...

Day 12- Bullet your whole day

I'm going to use yesterday, since today isn't over yet. :-P

* Wake up, and then remember I don't have to work today. Yay!
* Get dressed
* Eat breakfast
* Go to my ENT appointment (to be told that I am being sent to a Neurotologist/Otolaryngologist because my ear issues (Meniere's Disease) are too complicated for a regular ENT to be able to treat. Yay for obscure illnesses...)
* Go to meet up with my sister
* Pedicure time! (Red with fireworks this time :D )
* Go home and relax while Mini-me naps
* Prepare and pack for my 4.5 hour trip
* Get stuck in traffic for 1.5 hours.
* Watch the temperature creep up to 120 while sitting in traffic.
* Watch car after car pull over due to issues from the heat. Also- Thankful one of those is NOT me.
* Get off of the highway and see no traffic for the rest of the trip while passing through gorgeous views and fields of crops.
* Arrive at my destination, frustrated and tired. Also- hot.
* Have scrumptious dinner prepared by my hosts.
* Fall asleep in chair while visiting.
* Get told to go to bed. I do.

My life is truly exciting... LOL

Day 11- Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

1. Folsom Prison Blues- Johnny Cash
2. Scooter And Jinx- Sonic Youth
3. The Hanging Tree- Livingston/David
4. Gloria Graham- Baby Fox
5. To Love Somebody- Bee Gees
6. Hi'ilawe- Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
7. Don't You (Forget About Me)- Simple Minds
8. Words- Bee Gees
9. Greased Lightning- John Travolta
10. All That She Wants (Banghra Verson)- Ace of Base

Wow.. That's really.. eclectic.

Day 10- Offline vs. Online relationships according to your own experiences

Online relationships aren't really relationships. You don't know the person on the other side of the screen. A relationship may start online, but it doesn't truly start until you've met that person in real life. There are people that would disagree with me about this, but I can almost guarantee that those people do not have much luck in relationships offline. What happens is that a person falls in love with an idea. An idea that the person on the other side of that screen is the perfect person of their dreams. The other person? Who knows if they are pretending or if they are actually the person the other one is "in love" with. 

Once you meet the other person in real life, it transitions into a long distance relationship. Obviously I'm biased in my opinion. I don't do online relationships. If I can't hold the other person, touch them, smell them, or hear their voice then it's not a relationship.

Well... Crap.

Fuck. I should have realized it sooner. I came out to visit some extended "family". I drove to their house on my birthday. This was the first time I've ever traveled on my actual birthday. I was greeted with hugs and kisses and ice cream cake. This = awesome. Intimate time was had and what happens afterwards but I start crying. My need for touch was greater than I had known, or perhaps that I'd given acknowledgement to.

I was supposed to go home today but I'd taken the day off of work tomorrow and as such, I hemmed and hawed about going home tomorrow instead. I sat and tried to decide which I should do when I realized that I don't want to go home. The very idea of going home made me want to cry. This was a surprise that I didn't expect. I called it a bit of separation anxiety but the severe truth of the matter is that the small amount of time I've gotten here has been better than... that which I don't even want to begin thinking about right now.

At least the ride home will be spent in distraction with the guest I'm bringing home with me who will stay for this week. Some days the bars of the cage of my own making press in too close.

Day 9- How you hope your future will be like

Hrmm.. Let's see... for my future, I hope to be able to get into an accounting position at some point. I hope to have a house that I had a hand in creating/having built and for my daughter to be happy and healthy. I also hope to have a greater ability to release certain... tensions that get built up and I have a bad tendency, since there isn't anyone less than an hour away to play with, to let things go until I feel like I'm going insane with the need and desire for the necessary touch and playtime.

I don't think that's a lot to ask for. LOL

Day 8- A moment when you felt the most satisfied with your life.

I don't think I can answer this one with just one moment. I'm going to have to add to this one and make it two because, in some ways, my life is a bit compartmentalized. I wish it weren't, but at this time, that's the way it has to be.

The first moment is my favorite moment when I am with Mini-me. In the evening, we have snuggles just before her bedtime. She'll climb up (or I'll pick her up) into my lap and she'll get all close to me so that I can wrap my arms around her and hold her close while we watch an episode of whatever cartoon is on. In this moment, I know that having her was the best choice I ever made. I know in that moment that I would do ANYTHING to protect her and make sure she has the best chances possible to be whatever she wants to be when she grows up. She is my heart, the light of my life, my daughter. Having her is just... well.. it's right.

The other moment is a completely different side of my life. It's the moment after an intimate time with a loved one, when I know I'm wanted and needed. When I know that everything will be ok in the end, because I have that person by my side. When I know I'm not alone. When I know that I belong. Very few things can compare to that feeling.

Day 7- The hardest lesson you've had to learn

Wow. Okay, so I  knew some of the topics I picked would be difficult, but damn.

I think that, at this time, the hardest lesson I've had to learn is that there are some people that I will never be able to gain approval from. There are some people that I can never please and there are those that I can't be "enough" for. I've had to learn is that I don't HAVE to please everyone, be enough for everyone, or have everyone's approval.

It is difficult sometimes, especially when I'm by myself with no one to talk to, that there are key people out there for whom I AM enough. There are those close companions, friends, and more, that I can please and who accept me for who I am. These people know who they are. They will never know how much I need them and appreciate everything they mean to me (not to mention how much I care about them. :) ).

Day 6- Write 30 interesting facts about yourself

Okay. This one is going to be a bit difficult because I don't find myself all that interesting. Let's see what I can come up with, and fyi- I'm not placing them in any particular order.

1. The masquerade ball scene in Labyrinth is my favorite part of the entire movie.
2. I know how to play the piano a little bit and plan on continuing to learn how to play at some point in the future.
3. I still have the ability to lactate, even though I stopped breastfeeding when my Mini-me was 9 months old (she's 3 now).
4. I make fantastic coconut-pecan drop cookies.
5. I was once able to bend completely backwards while in heels. I am working on doing my best to regain this amount of flexibility.
6. I once came for about 4 hours straight (hooray multiple orgasms?). No, I could not walk under my own power alone afterwards.
7. I have the ability to be in love with more than one person at the same time. This sometimes makes things... interesting.
8. I blush very easily when I first meet someone. I am not sure why that is, but the more I get to know someone, usually the less I tend to blush. It doesn't become non-existent, just more difficult to achieve.
9. There are times when I look at the world around me (usually when I'm driving. LOL) and I can regain a wonder about the world that I had when I was younger. During these times, I wish that I could stop wherever I am and breathe in the moment, mark it down in my memory banks for later.
10. I have a vampire fetish. Whenever I'm looking for movies in Netflix (my friends can attest to this), I more often than not end up choosing something of a vampirish nature.
11. I love sex. (I know this one is probably a "no durh" one)
12. Blindfolding me and binding me is yummy. It is a great lead into putting me into subspace.
13. I had brain surgery and came out of it pretty much the way I was before, if not a bit better.
14. I am learning Tai Chi and hope to one day have my gold/black sash.
15. I am scared of the ocean. I don't like the way the sand is washed out from under my feet and the pull of the tide makes me nervous.
16. I secretly (or perhaps not so secretly, depending) wish to own a corset dress I saw that costs $500.00...
17. I seriously disdain sleeping alone.
18. I LOVE being a mother. It is one of the best things about my life and something I wouldn't change for anything.
19. I have an affinity for stuffed animals. I don't talk much about it but giving me a stuffed animal is a good way to get on my good side. ;-)
20. I have a serious sense of potty humor. I can't help it. Talking about farts makes me giggle almost every time.
21. I love the smell of freshly sharpened pencils. What I mean by this is the #2 pencils used in schools with the hand cranked pencil sharpener. I used to empty those out when I was in school just so I could catch a whiff of the scent.
22. I am a huge fan of mythology.
23. I have skills in many things, but I don't believe I am an expert at anything.
24. I once tried out to be a stripper. It did not go well.
25. I like organizing other people's things.
26. I have a Scottish accent fetish. Hearing it does funny things to my body... >.>
27. I kicked myself in the head one time by accident.
28. I want to go hang-gliding some day.
29. Nine Inch Nails was the first band I saw in concert.
30. I slept through a tornado one time.

Day 5- Share a website you spend way too much time on, and why

Considering my internet usage is actually very low recently, I can only think of two websites that this would apply to. One of which is Fetlife. I spend time on this website because it allows me to connect with other open minded individuals and it is one of the few places where I can be free about many aspects of who I am.

Fetlife is a space where I can freely share myself without, for the most part, fear of repercussions because someone who may be vanilla saw it and disdains anything to do with that which isn't "normal". That doesn't mean that there aren't arguments started based on opinions presented, but it does offer more freedom to express myself than other spaces allow for.

Day 4- Your views on religion

Religion is another topic of much heated debate. I think I shall simply put down my own beliefs on this one, instead of comparing and contrasting the many and varied religions of the world. I'm actually debating on if I want to take World Religion or a foreign language as part of my classes at school. I find the things people believe in or have faith in to be fascinating.

So. What do I believe as far as religion goes? I believe that I do not believe in the vast majority of them. What I do believe is that there is a power greater than I am out there. Whether it is the collective consciousness, or Buddha, or God, or any other number of powers, I couldn't say.

I believe we should thank those that give their lives for our continued existence and I also believe that we should not forget that Mother Nature has the power to destroy us, or bear up fruit for our well-being. I believe there are things out there that we are not able to comprehend and that defy science (even though I absolutely adore science).

There is more than this; however, I have not yet figured out how I truly feel about most of it, aside from the fact that I believe religion is all too often utilized as a way to a means and not as a true belief for all too many people. I can remember when I was younger, going to church after church as my dad tried to find one where he fit in. Each church we went to was filled with hypocrites. They all were fine while in church. Afterwards, the gossip began. Seeing this, I came to understand that for me, whatever worship I undertake, will not be in a church. There are no rules stating you HAVE to go to church or any kind of organized gathering to be able to partake in whatever religion you believe in.

I think that is enough for now, although I might choose to expound on the subject again in the future.

Day 3- Your views on drugs and alcohol

Well now. Here's a topic that gets much heated debate across many boards. What do I feel about drugs and alcohol? I think I need to speak on each of these separately.

Drugs

Many things not labeled as "drugs" still work the same way and are technically labeled as such. Society has created a bad aura around the word. Anything that affects the mind and body could be considered a drug when one really thinks about it. What each person does with their body is something beyond my control. I approve of drugs when they are used correctly, so as to alleviate pain or to help someone get better.

What I don't approve of, is using them in such a manner that would cause one to be a danger to themselves and to others. There are drugs that, if used, will cause me to not be in a relationship with someone, simply because I don't wish to be around them, or because having asthma prohibits being around them, which means while they do whatever it is they're doing, I can't be with them. That makes me a sad kippy.

I could go further, but then we get into very direct territory.

Alcohol

It has it's merits. There is a time and a place for it and as with most other things, should be done in moderation. I have been known to imbibe a bit here and there. I don't drink as much as I have in the past and I think that is a good thing. After all, I do like being able to open doors... *mutters, "evil patio door..."*

Day 2: Where you’d like to be in 10 years

In 10 years, I want to be finished with school and having obtained my desired certifications (CPA & possibly CFE). I want to be working in an environment that I can truly thrive in (i.e. an accounting position, higher than entrance level). I also want to be in a better position to enjoy more things kink.

I thought perhaps I'd have more to say on this one, but I guess my goals are really simple. I could add in that I also want to have obtained my license for driving a motorcycle and to own a motorcycle by this point as well. I also hope to be MUCH farther along in Tai Chi than I currently am, but then I plan on doing Tai Chi for the rest of my life, so...

Another goal is to have reached my goal size and to have had at least one, if not multiple, sets of good, professional, kinky photos done.

I didn't realize it was this simple, but to actually achieve these goals takes a TON of work.

Day 1: The meaning behind your blog name

To discuss this, I actually have to talk about a couple of different names. First, there's my current FL nickname: twinklie. Then there's my previous nickname: kibblesntits. And finally, there's another nickname I go by: squiikitoi.

Squiikitoi is the oldest of all three nicknames and I still use it today. It came from my days of playing World of Warcraft. I had a gnome rogue who had pink bubblegum colored pigtails and she was very mischievous. She was a character that I truly relished playing. she was cute and feisty and didn't take shit from anyone. I adored her. The name for that character stuck with me even after I left the game and it's one that I will always cherish.

Kibblesntits. This was a nickname that I came up with on a whim and it made me laugh. I don't really use it any longer but some people still refer to me by it, so I felt it should be mentioned.

Twinklie is the newest of my nicknames. I created it a couple of years ago because I felt it was time for a change. What I actually wanted to use was twinkie, because well.. I'm soft and squishy with a yummy cream-filled center. That didn't feel quite right though, so I came up with twinklie, with a bit of help. I'm sure it will change again at some point, but who knows to what. My brain is a weird place after all.

30 Days of Blogging

Ok, so to help get myself back into the swing of it, I'm going to create a list of topics for myself to write on, one for each day. I know there are a few days where I will not be able to write, but as soon as I can, I will write on the next topic on the list. So without further adieu, here is the list for this time around.


Day 1- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 2- Where you’d like to be in 10 years
Day 3- Your views on drugs and alcohol
Day 4- Your views on religion
Day 5- Share a website you spend way too much time on, and why
Day 6- Write 30 interesting facts about yourself
Day 7- The hardest lesson you've had to learn
Day 8- A moment when you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 9- How you hope your future will be like
Day 10- Offline vs. Online relationships according to your own experiences
Day 11- Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12- Bullet your whole day
Day 13- Somewhere you’d like to move or visit
Day 14- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 15- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 16- Something you crave for a lot
Day 17- Your highs and lows of the past year
Day 18- Your favorite song.
Day 19- Describe your childhood in sounds and smells.
Day 20- How important you think education is
Day 21- One of your favorite shows
Day 22- How have you changed in the past 2 years
Day 23- Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous and who you find attractive
Day 24- Your favorite movie and what it’s about
Day 25- Someone who fascinates you and why
Day 26- What kind of person attracts you
Day 27- Describe the last deep kiss you shared with someone.
Day 28- Something that you miss
Day 29- Make a list of random things you think about.
Day 30- Your least favorite words

"About time" Update

So yeah, it's actually way past time, but at least I'm getting to it, right?

I had my surgery in December. Two weeks later I got the staples removed and ended up having to lop off my hair. I'm still not happy about having short hair (even though apparently everyone thinks it's cute.. it's still not me).

The biggest change I've noticed since my surgery is that I've had a SERIOUS downswing in my computer usage. In fact, I've been actively avoiding the computer much of the time. I have only been getting on the computer when I have to. This includes messaging and texting. I've only been messaging with a few people. It's almost like I can't stand to see someone typing me. I want physical contact with them. If it can't be in person, I at least want to hear a voice.

I went back to the neurosurgeon last week for my six month follow up and was told that the incision has healed nicely and I don't have to go for another MRI until December. My hair has pretty much grown right over the entire area and even I have to feel around to find it. Looks like I'll be having an MRI once a year for the rest of my life. Yay me!

On another note, I did graduate on May 14th. No one is happier about that than I am. I've also done my orientation for my next school and class starts August 20th. Onwards and upwards!

I attended SELF this past weekend and that was a very interesting event. I wish I could have stayed the entire weekend, but that wasn't to be. I saw one or two people I knew, met a few new people and the rest.. Well, that's private. *winks*

I will try to be online a bit more, but if you want my attention, the best way to get me is to actually call me (not while I'm at work of course, because I won't be able to answer). It'll be a point in your favor if you do.