September 28, 2015


That feeling of home. Of being where you belong. You don't want to leave and when you do you want it back so badly it makes me clinch my hands and want to cry. I crave it. I need it. May it return once more.


She pushes through the curtains, lost in the drift of the cloth brushing softly against her skin. Eventually she makes her way through to the other side to find him standing there, waiting for her. She runs to him, wrapping her arms around him. Finally, she can breathe again.

After a moment he takes her hand, leading her towards the large four-poster bed in the middle of the room. The rest of the room is dark, with the only light seeming to shine from an unknown source on the bed, which is covered in black and red sheets. It is fitting for their mood this evening.

He turns her towards him, kissing her deeply, before thrusting her back onto the bed and stripping her clothes from her. The feel of his strength surrounds her, causes her breathing to quicken and makes her wet. He sits her up and places the blindfold on her, securing it. Next he places the cuffs on wrists and ankles, effectively hobbling her. It's not as if she's going anywhere, but the presence of the restraints reinforces her submissiveness to him and deepens her feeling of safety.

Pushing her back down onto the bed, he bends over her, putting his weight on her and kissing her before standing up and rolling her over onto her stomach. Once in the position he wants her, he chuckles. He has such wicked plans for her. She hears the crackle of the violet wand as he turns it on. She shivers, knowing what is coming but not knowing when. Her anticipation increases. She squeaks as the violet wand sparks against her ass. The electricity crackles and causes her to jump, squeak, shiver, and even giggle as he run it down her ass cheek, continuing all the way to the heel of her foot and then back up. He touches it here and there before moving it away, only to bring it back again.

He is gone for a few moments and then she feels a flogger brush across her ass before it thwacks down, causing her to jump and yelp. Again and again it is brought down onto her ass and back before that too stops and then she feels rabbit fur as it is run across her freshly warmed skin. This too is replaced by a different sensation. Sensation after sensation invades her senses until she is floating along them, taking each as they come until it stops.

Then there is no more sensation. She can hear him but she does not know what he has planned next. She is happy to wait and see. He looks down at her and admires his handiwork, how her ass cheeks are red from his ministrations, and her skin is slick with sweat. However, he's not done yet.

She feels him walk back over to her, spreading her legs as far as they can go with her ankles being cuffed to each other. She feels him kneel between her legs and then as the head of his cock reaches her inner thighs, she tilts her ass upwards, to provide him better access to her cunt. He chuckles at her brazenness before thrusting himself inside her, causing her to cry out at the pleasure of his cock pounding into her pussy.

He fucks her hard, causing her to cum all over his cock, her juices running down her thighs, before he cums too, with her pussy quivering around his cock. He lies down beside her, rolling her onto her side so that she's still pressed up against him as they both catch their breath.

Eventually the light dims as he snuggles her and tells her what a good girl she has been this night and how happy he is with her. It has been a good night for them both.

Things That Make Me Go WEEEEEEE

I often have people ask me what I'm "into" and in response, I usually laugh and tell them it would be faster to ask what I'm NOT into. My fetish list is long and only continues to expand. However, with that having been stated, there are certain things that are at the very top of my list.

Blindfolds/cuffs/bondage- The combination puts me into the right headspace very quickly. There's more to it than this but only those that I trust will know the rest.

Force- this includes grabbing my hair the right way, pushing me back onto the bed, moving me in whatever direction/way you want me to move. Essentially it's showing me your strength and the fact that you can take me because you're stronger than I am. As always, there is such a thing as too much, but when enough is used in the right way, it's fucking hawt.

Biting- LOVE IT. Especially when there is a growl added to it and (with men) when I feel the facial hair, I melt. Again, there is such a thing as too much, or too hard.

Violet wands- I adore them. They make me squeak, quiver, giggle, yip and yelp, and sometimes downright laugh out loud. Just be careful using them around my feet or you might get kicked or kneed in the head. LOL

Floggers- When they are particularly thuddy, I could lay there for hours being thwacked by one.

Rabbit fur/other soft stuff- Particularly excellent to mix in between other things.

Wartenberg Wheels- They make me shiver. I loves them.

Voice- Your voice is one of the most important tools you have. Use it the right way and I'll be putty in your hands. Or you'll get covered in girly goo.. either way.

Hands- Hands are fantastic. Use them for spanking or to soothe heated flesh, to pull hair or hold me tight. Contact is important. *nodnodnod*

I realize I didn't put a lot of stingy type toys on here, and I probably left off a few things, but the things listed are my absolute top things I enjoy. As I remember them, I'll come back and add them to the list.

I can take a decent amount of pain and while I do enjoy it, the things that really make me go into subspace involve variation, keeping me guessing and sensory overload. These combined with the right energy from my play partner will do it almost every time.

I didn't include orgasms and sex because, well, those should be a given. :P

The Path Continues...

The girl winds her way down the path. She finds a large stone to sit down on and decides it's time to stop for a moment. Looking up at the moon, she breathes in the cool night air and waits. The air feels empty. No one stands close to her to comfort her and the gods do not answer her whispers on the breeze. She looks out across the rolling hills and sighs.

She stands up and begins walking again. The ache in her chest makes her steps hesitant and makes her feel small. The path ahead is slow going, with many steps leading ever upwards. She knows she can make it but it feels like she will never see the sun again, or feel the hands upon her flesh that she so hungrily needs. She fights the urge to lay down, wrapping her arms around herself as she continues to slowly walk the path in front of her.

January 31, 2015

Pity Party Central.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated on multiple levels. I'm having some difficulty in learning Spanish that I'm not quite sure how to overcome. On top of that, I'm stuck where I am with my job until my schooling is finished, but based on my most recent calculations, I will not be graduating for another *4* years. In two more years, I'll have been in school for officially 10 years (with a 2 year hiatus for the birth of my little one). I know that I am making progress and that it will happen but I despise my job. It is not want I want to do and many of the calls I take (yeah, it's customer service) can be EXTREMELY negative. Even if I have gotten better at dealing with it and remaining calm and focused during the calls, it still taxes me greatly. On top of that, because of schooling, I'm at home pretty much constantly without being able to get out. This means I haven't had sex in longer than I care to admit and playing only happens these days when I can actually get out of the house.

I realize that my situation is only temporary and I will be finished at some point but right now, as I'm in the middle of everything, I'm just so disheartened that it makes me cry. And of course every time I need that input of energy from even just a friend coming over, no one is available. I just... I'm ready for a change but I'm not situationally positioned to be able to accept the change.

Pardon me while I wallow in my pity party over here for a while, but find some rope and drag me out if you don't see any bubbles coming from the pool of tears.

January 7, 2015

Seeing You Again

I see you from across the room and I can't help but smile. I love how sweet your face is and how soft you are. I can't wait to hug you because when you hug, you hug me with all of you, almost like you're wrapping yourself completely around me. Non-reserved hugs are the best hugs ever. Not to mention I can be incredibly geeky with you and you get it all. Not only that but you're excited about it too!

And then there's that look. That look you get when you're thinking things. Naughty things. I kiss you and you sigh, resolving yourself into the kiss and falling into it. Into US. In that moment no one else exists except you and me. your hands caress my back before reaching down to cup my ass, pulling me into you. I can feel how hard your cock is and it turns me on, making me moan softly as you continue to kiss me.

We haven't seen each other in so long we can't stop. We keep kissing as we move over and fall softly onto the bed, you on top of me. My hands work to unbutton your shirt and push it down, over your arms then off into the floor. You stop the kiss to pull my shirt off of me, my bra following just after. Your kisses trail down my neck to my nipple. You take my nipple into your mouth, teasing it with your tongue and teeth. You know this drives me crazy, causing me to whimper and writhe under you as my hips take on a life of their own.

My hands make their way to your cock, finding your pants were shed as you kept me distracted with your talented mouth. I stroke you, reveling in the returned teasing as you moan softly. I lean up to kiss your neck, whispering how much I enjoy seeing you wrapped in pleasure.

Nearly dizzy with hunger, you finally spread my legs and I gasp as your cock thrusts into me, feeling the desire burn even higher in intensity. You start thrusting slowly, teasing yourself as much as you are me, before starting to thrust faster. My hips undulate on their own, attempting to make you go faster, trying to take you as deeply as I can.  You fuck me in earnest, both of us lost in the moment before suddenly we've plunged over the edge and the sounds of us cumming fill the room.

Slowly, the room fills our vision again, and I curl up against you, giggly and cuddly but also sated. For the moment. I've got to give you a little time to rest before we start again after all.

Writing & All That Comes With It

I love writing. Those close to me know how much I enjoy it, and in fact even need to do it. But I can't do it all the time. In order for me to write, in essence, I have to be called to do it. When I feel, I feel deeply. My writing is an outlet for those emotions that are so strong that to contain them would surely be to hurt myself. It is a release and it drains me emotionally to do it. Which is why I only do it every so often, I suppose.

I have thought about asking to be put on prozac or some such but the problem with those medications is that they take away ALL of my emotions. The sadistic side of me loves feeling the emotion, of having to let it out by writing. I like drowning in myself for a short time and making something that I can look back on later and be amazed that *I* wrote it.

I wish that I could write more often than I do, but when the school semester starts, I become entrenched in my school work. Everything else falls to the side. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING. l can't seem to help it. And then, when the semester is over, it all comes flooding back and the need to see my friends, be with my loved ones overwhelms me and I curl up into a ball because the longing is so bad. Hence the flurry of writing all at once. It's that I don't constantly miss them, it's just that I'm preoccupied. Whenever I get a message from my friends or companions, I try to respond, to show that I'm still here. I appreciate the nudges because sometimes I am so absentminded I'd lose my head if it weren't attached.

Sometimes I get requests to write. I love that it's requested because it shows that people like what I write. It's just... well, it's difficult. Because I have to dig into that ether where my emotions reside and allow myself to slip into it, to be lost for a while before I come back down to see what I've written. I will write again, I promise. I just am not ever sure when I'll get hit in the stomach by my muse.