November 26, 2010

Courtesan vs. Slut

I've just recently (as in this week) finally finished watching Firefly for the first time. I know, I know. I'm a bit late on doing this, but at least I finally got to watch the awesomeness that is Firefly. During lunch today, as I was sitting in my car listening to music and eating the chili I had gotten from Wendy's (that's some good shit, yo!), I started thinking about my characters that I play in the rpg's I participate in. For those on in the know, rpg stands for role playing game. You know, like Dungeons & Dragons.

Anyhow, I started thinking about the current game I'm playing in (it's a Star Wars campaign) and my character development. My character is a young Noble who has left her planet for the first time ever in order to journey across the galaxy and also perhaps find out who her father is. She is skilled not only in mercantilism but also in how to be a courtesan because of her very nature. Anyone that has read the Star Wars guide books or has access to them can look this up. She is a hybrid of Zeltron and Deveronian. To say she has skills would be the biggest understatement of the year.

To date, in the game, she has not used any of her.. more sexual.. skills. She has tried to be the quintessential noble woman. Now her ship has been sabotaged and she has lost contact with her mother. Her guards (the other players in the group) are the only people she knows on Coruscant. Things are looking bleak for them as ALL of her credits have also been waylaid in the process. I realized that with everything going on, she may end up turning towards her base nature of her Zeltron (hedonistic) half to start trying to produce results.

When I realized this, I started thinking of my characters in past campaigns and every single one of them  have been very sexual. I have tried to keep sex from being a large part of my characters in the past and have failed. I can't seem to help myself. Maybe sometime I will play a character that is a prude. That would be very... interesting. And difficult.

All of this led me to think of Firefly and the companion they had aboard the ship. Inara. And also Kaylee. The differences between the two are very great. Inara is worldly and wise in the way of both men and women. She knows how to fulfill their most base desires and needs. Kaylee, on the other hand, was very innocent in her view of sex. She thought it was awesome but it no big deal to her. The one episode where Inara entertained a female client, Kaylee thought they looked wonderful together. She saw no wrong with anything Inara did. I'm not getting the way I see Kaylee across quite well enough so I think I'll leave that bit end for now.

It occurred to me, during my thinking (and this was approximately 15 minutes of thinking. I do way too much of it, I think. LOL) at lunch, that I associate myself very closely with Inara. But I also associate a bit with Kaylee and River too even. Mostly with Inara though. I don't consider myself to be a slut. Oh, don't get me wrong, I can be very much the slut, given the right situation and I enjoy it very much during those moments too. But generally speaking, I do not consider myself a slut.

If I had to consider myself anything, I'd have to say I'm more like the companion Inara is. Or perhaps better put, a courtesan. Sex to me, is the ends to which seduction is the means. The seduction enhances the flavor of the sex to the point where your mouth waters and your loins moisten at the mere thought of it. Sex without the seduction is like having popcorn without the butter and everything else that makes it so fatteningly yummy. Seduction is about the senses. It is scintillating. It catches the mind as well as the body.

Have I been schooled as a proper courtesan? No. What I have learned has been through some teaching, but mostly is my innate ability to judge my partner and make the proper body language to signify I am interested. I enjoy the challenge of someone who isn't so certain he wants a taste of what I have to offer. I have several of those I could mention were I to be so inclined but this is not the place nor the time to do so.

When my vision narrows to that person I most desire at that moment, I instantly become very aware of what they need and desire at that moment. I honestly can't think of anyone I have wanted to be with that, when I've made the moves, I haven't gotten. I do not say this to brag. I am being fully honest about who I am and what I do. I know men. I know what they want and what they desire. Have I used seduction as a means to get what I want? Yes, but it is almost always to the satisfaction of all parties involved.

Seduction is an art that many women fail to master. Why this is, I have no idea. To be a woman is to be seduction. I love that knowledge that I am wanted. I love the look a man gives you when he desires to be between your legs. It is heady to feel the desire rolling off of him, surrounding me. Seeing his eyes burn with that need that only I can fulfill at that moment. The following moment may take him to another woman, but for that one moment in time, his eyes are on me. Men tell you they desire you with their eyes and their lips, their hands.

Women are another subject altogether. They burn differently. They are a soft heat that radiates and draws you to them, to feel their moistness about you, their essence caressing you as though you were wrapped in silk. When she brings her hand up to the side of your face, her head falling back as you kiss her neck and her hips swaying uncontrollably. She will tell you with her body language she wants you. Her hips, the arch of her spine and the sway of her hair against your hands; her breathing even. When they see you, when they desire you, in that moment, they only see you when they look at you. All else fades and you are all they see. At least this is what happens with me.

In the moment of seduction, I feel everyone around me. Their desire abounds and I take that desire and turn it back on them tenfold. I cannot explain how it is that I do this but I have been equated to a conductor before. Give me the chance and I can please you greatly... if you can capture my attention.

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