November 26, 2010

Ode to that one I loathe so much...

Why? Why must you eye me from the crease of the couch where you sit? OH SHIT! Now you've gotten closer! I must flee your mighty presence before my shrill screech wakes the house. What will make you go away? Shall I set a trap for you and catch you in my dastardly clutches until your insides melt and your skeleton rots with the stench of your flesh? Shall I bash you with a broom until your legs can no longer move as I've broken them into bits?

Why must you follow me even though I've poisoned you? Why!? I have shoved you into holes and stabbed you with screwdrivers. I have sprayed you and made you limp away only to lay paralyzed while I attack you yet again. I MUST make sure you're dead. I can't sit still until I do. And  yet you keep coming back for more!

I have bashed, beaten, trapped, poisoned, drowned, stabbed and bludgeoned you to death. Yet I cannot seem to rid myself of you. I turn around and there you are again. I've squealed for you and jumped higher than I ever thought possible for you. What more could you possibly want from me??? You are that invisible stalker, never to go away; always there when I look again.

Oh, cockroach. I shall beat you yet.

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