It has come to my attention (as of today) that vertigo is not my friend. Sitting at my desk, on the phone with a customer and I get a sudden "zing" feeling between my eyes. I know exactly what this means. I somehow make it through the phone call and quickly take one of my anti-nausea pills before it gets worse, which it does. I then send a coworker an IM advising her whats going on so that she can keep an eye out on me, just in case. Of course within the next 5 minutes, the rest of my cube mates know as does my supervisor and manager.
I am very glad I was already sitting or I may have ended up hurting myself when it happened. I also hated having to tell them I couldn't get up and move when they came over to tell us all to head over to the next section to celebrate someone's 5th anniversary with the company. In a way, it made me feel like a failure. I know this is minor in comparison to what was going on, but it doesn't change the fact. I don't think I could express my gratitude for how both my supervisor and manager showed their concern for me during the time of the episode. That is one thing I love about where I work, is that when something is happening, they show that they care, even if I'm not friends with them, and am of a lower rank. In that moment, it doesn't matter. What matters is making sure I'm ok.
On a different note, I am learning to recognize the signs that I'm about to "go down". I get this concentrated feeling in the middle of the bridge of my nose, right between my eyes. I don't quite know how to describe it. It's almost like the feeling when you cross your eyes. Kind of like a buzz right there and then it gets strong really fast, and the next thing I know, I'm on a mental tilt-a-whirl. Today, I was able to breathe my way through it. I almost got to the point of tears, but not quite and my hands did shake but not as badly, although it was noticeable enough that my cube mate could tell. The other supervisor could tell by how I was walking afterwards what was going on (because he's gone through the same thing) and stopped to walk beside me, just in case. As I said, caring. It can make a difference.
The episode did pass and I was able to take a 5 minute nap during lunch, which I'm sure helped, although I really needed a longer nap. Later on, when I had gone to get letters, I came back to my desk and one of my cube mates asked me why I was up walking around. I told them because if I didn't, it wouldn't get done (my letters) and that it's lazy. Another cube mate responded "or vertigo" reminding me that I shouldn't look at it the way I was without saying such. Much like my Shifu scolding me in how I talk to myself. I really can be very hard on myself. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who, while they don't quite understand exactly what's going on, they know it's not good and don't treat me like I'm making it up.
I did very well with my food today. I had tea and a banana for breakfast. I had an orange for snack and then I had a peanut butter sandwich and juice for lunch. Dinner was mixed veggies (potatoes, broccoli, carrots, and celery) with rice. And another cup of tea to curb the craving for something else. I did have a few Hershey kisses (like 6), but I am weaning myself since I didn't have any other sweets. And now, I think I shall away to bed. Tomorrow night is studying for my biology test on Saturday. I am determined that I WILL make a better grade on this one. And then Saturday night is FROLICON!!! I wish I could be there tonight but I am just extremely happy I get to go on Saturday. Yay! Here's hoping some of my really good friends show up too. *nudge nudge* *wink wink*
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