I crave to be tied up and taken. Being kinky and submissive is simply who I am. It's not something I can just box up and throw away. To me, it is a need, a hunger, even a driving force in my life. I'm always finding myself judging others by the amount of dominance they desplay. By the amount of strength of character (which is not the same as dominance, per se). By the confidence in which people go about their daily routines. People can show others what they want them to see, but you can see where their self esteem and confidence truly lie in those glimpses one can get when someone thinks no one is watching them. Thats when you see how someone feels about themself.
I wonder how people see me when they get that glimpse. I wonder what others think of me when they see those glimpses. I know that I've been told I write well and I speak well and I even clean up well.. or dirty up well depending on the situation grins. I've been told that others are jealous of me. When I hear that, its difficult for me to believe. What is it about me that causes people to want to be around me? What is it that causes others to be jealous of me? I'm just as mentally stunted and twisted as the rest of the crowd. More so than some and less than others, but still. I simply try to carve out my own little happy piece of pie that is this world. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, and others it seems like there's nothing holding me back except myself. shrugs I dunno, but I'll just keep being me and appreciating my friends and those that willingly come into my life and make it better for them being in it.
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